photo by Heidi L. Paulec  2016

PERSPECTIVES:  We can learn so much from one another as we sojourn horizons that both beckon and daunt us.  While our general experiences may have general connections, the specificity of our experiences depends on our position, our perception, and how we filter it all.  What is this all About?  A longer version of the story can be found…

Sharing Shadows (part 1)

Sharing Shadows (part 2)

Sharing Shadows (part 3)

This grief journey led me back to our family.  How do you navigate such a loss?  When I nervously asked if they were willing, several vulnerably shared distinctly personal elements of grief, sadness, struggle through this heavy darkness.  Each generation recognizing the varying social stigmas of suicide as well as the responses of their closest friends.  I am supremely grateful for their honesty.  While we share common relationships, every memory is profoundly unique to those who cycle through them; yet, our family’s openness to sharing weaved threads of bravery within me.

“While they spoke, I penned their words…and processed my own.”

– Heidi L. Paulec

When invited to participate in this perspective endeavor reflecting on Jamie’s life and subsequent suicide, most family members offered openness to share their story.   However, most did not feel either capable or comfortable to write their own perspectives.  Therefore, I sent surveys and conducted subsequent oral interviews from their responses.  These were used to establish primary source material from which to write on their behalf in the first person.  In each perspective, you can expect “Reflections on the Interview” and “Brief History.”  Both sections are written in the third person.  Then, the voice will shift to first person for their Perspective.

We welcome you here.  This remains tender space for us.  So join us accordingly.  Know you’re also welcome, we invite you  to subscribe to receive emails as we publish pieces here.

“Our design… is only to discover how, perceiving a suffering world, and being assured, on quite different grounds, that God is good, we are to conceive that goodness and that suffering without contradiction.”

CS Lewis The Problem of Pain pg.27

Living Hope,

Heidi founding writer for Shadows Presence



1.)  Our maternal Great-Grandparents, Philip & Ruth

Great-Grandparents Grieve (part 1)

Great-Grandparents Grieve (part 2)

Great-Grandparents Grieve (part 3)

2.)  Our paternal Great-Grandmother, Hazel

Great-Grandmother’s Endurance

3.)  Our paternal Grandpa Darrell

Grandpa Darrell Remembers… Mercy (part 1)

Grandpa Darrell Remembers… Mercy (part 2)

Grandpa Darrell Remembers… Mercy (part 3)

4.)  Our paternal Grandma Wanda

Grandma Wanda… Beyond Brilliance (part 1)

Grandma Wanda… Beyond Brilliance (part 2)

Grandma Wanda… Beyond Brilliance (part 3)

Grandma Wanda… Beyond Brilliance (part 4)

5.)  Our maternal Grandma Phyllis

Grandma Phyllis… patios & picnics (part 1)

Grandma Phyllis… patios & picnics (part 2)

Grandma Phyllis… patios & picnics (part 3)

Grandma Phyllis… patios & picnics (part 4)

6.)  Our maternal Grandpa Ken …

Grandpa Ken… He Reached Out to Me (part 1)

Grandpa Ken … He Reached Out to Me (part 2)

Grandpa Ken … He Reached Out to Me (part 3)

Grandpa Ken… He Reached Out to Me (part 4)

7.)  Aunt Karen (Heidi’s Mom)

Aunt Karen … after the rain (part 1)

Aunt Karen… after the rain (part 2)

Aunt Karen… after the rain (part 3)

Aunt Karen… after the rain (part 4)

Aunt Karen… after the rain (part 5)

8.)  Uncle Tim (Heidi’s Mom)

Uncle Tim… Heaven Draws Near (part 1)

Uncle Tim… Heaven Draws Near (part 2)

Uncle Tim… Heaven Draws Near (part 3)

Uncle Tim… Heaven Draws Near (part 4)

Uncle Tim… Heaven Draws Near (part 5)

Coming Soon…

What’s Next for Shadows Presence?